“It’s time we saw sex as the truly sacred art that it is. A deep meditation, a holy communion and a dance with the force of creation.”
~ Marcus Allen
SAFE BOUNDARIES & CONFIDENTIALITY
SAFE BOUNDARIES & CONFIDENTIALITY
My promise to you
This page holds my promise to you. I understand that human sexuality is a very vulnerable space to be and I honor that and I understand each person is in their own place at any given moment. The following lists who I am and more importantly what I am not. I understand that I am a man working with women at your most vulnerable. I am honored to be a part of that journey in any way possible. Even if all we have is just a simple phone conversation, but that is what you need for support, then I have done my job. My preferred method of working is somatic (“of the body”) sex education. I can and will support phone, Zoom or Skype conversation too. However, studies have shown that talk therapy is about 20% effective while somatic therapy is about 80% effective. Let me be your guide.
Privacy and Safety
Safe and respectful communication:
- I am someone who listens well. If at any time you feel I haven’t heard you I invite you to reach out to me to clarify my misunderstanding.
- I do not judge who you are or what your dreams are, but will help you to fulfill them.
- I will communicate and hold agreements about boundaries, appointment schedules.
My role as an intimacy coach:
- I am a teacher, coach, sexuality engineer, consultant, sex educator, support and guide.
- I am continually seeking knowledge to improve my offering to you. This means I attend professional conferences, am a member of professional organizations, am attending workshops and continually educating myself through reading, discussions and my own experimentations.
- I will give honest feedback to what is true for me.
- I will maintain a professional attitude and conduct at all times.
The importance of privacy and confidentiality:
- Your privacy is one of my utmost concerns. I will never speak publicly about you to anyone or any where without your permission. I will respect and defend your privacy with anything that is said to me as long as it will not cause harm to others or yourself.
- I am a public figure and person who may attend public functions. If at any time you see me in any of these spaces please understand I will treat you as if I had never met you to support your privacy.
- I will never contact you or friend you on social medial without your initial invitation.
- I will be available to speak with your therapist at your request.
- My space has a private entrance and nobody will know you are coming to see me and what you will be doing with me.
Safety and boundaries:
- I will not be under the influence of alcohol or drugs during my session work with you.
- I am happily married and my wife supports my work. Often times she will be in the area, but never in the treatment room with us. Often I have found that women feel this adds a level of safety for them.
- I will create a safer space for you to be completely yourself in all of your vulnerabilities.
- Sometimes nudity on your part is required to move forward with your growth. You are welcome to disrobe to your level of comfort. You will never be required to remove any clothing.
- I will remain clothed at all times.
- I will co-create our session with you at all times. You will have complete authority to stop a session at any time for any reason.
Strictly professional relationship:
- My relationship to you is strictly professional and as such I will not date you or create a relationship outside of my services.
- I will refer you to additional resources when possible if I am unable to support you adequately.
- I will terminate my professional services with you when my services are no longer required or no longer serve your needs and interests.
Surrogate Partner Therapy:
- As a Sexological Bodyworker I subscribe to the ethics found at the Association of Certified Sexological Bodyworkers (https://sexologicalbodyworkers.org/ethics/)
- If you are coming to me on this site I work as a Sexological Bodyworker. If you are interested in Surrogate Partner Therapy I would be happy to talk with you about the work and refer you to a therapist.
Who I am NOT in my professional capacity:
- I am not a therapist or a healer, although, sometimes the work has been acknowledged to be therapeutic and/or healing.
Sexual boundaries that will NOT be crossed:
- Having intercourse is outside of my boundaries and your boundaries will be protected.
- I will not have oral sex with you.
- I will not open-mouth kiss you.
- I will never expose myself to you.
What I will NOT be to you:
- I do not become romantically involved with my clients.
NO pressuring, coercion or controlling:
- I am not going to tell you your dreams are wrong.
- I’m am not going to tell you to stop crying or being angry or just simply feeling. Feelings are important. Please have them
- I will never manipulate you or pressure you to do anything you don’t want to do. On occasion discomfort will arise. This can be the space of learning and growth, so we will often ask that you stay with it. If at any point in time you use the safe word then everything stops.
- I will never tell you “don’t tell anyone what I’m about to do” because if I do then I’m doing something wrong. Run from anyone who tells you this.