“The point for me is to create relationships based on deeper and more real notions of trust. So that love becomes defined not by sexual exclusivity, but by actual respect, concern, commitment to act with kind intentions, accountability for our actions, and a desire for mutual growth.”

~ Dean Spade



Monogamy versus Polyamory

Intimacy Coaching with Daka Dan

In this modern era and as we are living longer the model of marriage, which originated as a contract of ownership of women to a man, is no longer the only style of relationship available to us. Who created this rule that we are supposed to be with one person for the rest of your life and why? Many are beginning to explore relationship alternatives, which can certainly bring excitement into a persons life. While there are many advantages, such as getting needs fulfilled that your monogamous partner can’t, there are also disadvantages, such as more people can mean more drama and jealousy. I can coach you to be aware of or how to navigate those issues that may already be coming up.

Polyamory can be an amazing lifestyle full of love. Who says that we have a finite amount of love that we must keep close to us otherwise we will run out. That of course is ludicrous. As a species we have an unlimited amount of love to offer. What we don’t have is a lot of time and that is one of the big perils of Polyamory.

Polyamory is becoming more and more mainstream these days. There are shows about it on Showtime, Netflix and others and while it sounds good and fun there are challenges, just as there are with monogamy. But polyamory isn’t the only alternative relationship style there is out there. There are things like just opening the relationship, swinging and being monogamish. The first piece of advice for a monogamous relationship is that if it isn’t working right now do not try to open your relationship up.

What to expect in private Polyamory coaching sessions

Understanding Polyamory

  • Different relationship styles
  • Advantages/disadvantages of monogamy
  • Advantages/disadvantages of polyamory
  • Different forms of polyamory
  • Good polyamory versus bad polyamory

Starting a Polyamory Relationship

  • How to introduce an open relationship to your partner
  • Negotiating an open relationship
  • Making agreements with your partner(s)

Taking Care of Yourself in Polyamory

  • Finding empowerment through polyamory
  • Communicating to avoid the pitfalls
  • Setting and maintaining good boundaries

Considering Everyone Involved

  • Polyamory, your children, and the impact choosing polyamory might have on your family
  • Working within a polyamory relationship now that there are others to consider
  • Conversations about STIs/STDs

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